'[It's] a waste of money': Stepdad's favoritism exposed when he bankrolls his bio-son's entire wedding yet refuses to contribute more than $2000 to his stepdaughter's nuptials, mom gets put on blast

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 14, 2025 6:00 AM EDT

Being a stepparent is tough. While you've chosen to raise your own kid from birth to 18 years old, suddenly your blended family has a few more childlings to rear, stretching your initial parenting funds to their limit. Well, the guy in this next story, the stepdad of a blended family of 6 years, put his foot down and drew the hard line in the sand when it came to financial support for both his bio-son and his stepdaughter. 

Except he decided to take sides, proving favoritism between his two children and causing discourse online with his ultimate choice. While it' a conundrum to take on your wife's kids' expenses from a previous marriage, wouldn't you consider them an extension of your own family after so many years? Perhaps not if your kids are planning two expensive weddings in the same year…

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  • While I understand the angle of having separate financials with your spouse, I think this stepdad comes off a little brutal with his wedding commitments. Sure, he saved money for his own son, but offering to pay for 100% of his wedding while contributing a measly $2000 to his stepdaughter's just to prove a point seems a little petty. Then again, I'm not a parent, so what do I know? 

    However, the Internet seems to believe it's the mom that lacked the foresight to save for her own bio-daughter's wedding. You decide for yourself who's to blame here… 

  • "AITA for paying for my son's wedding but not my stepdaughters?"

    Cheezburger Image 10479345664
    via Gustavo Fring

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My wife and I have been together for 8 years, married for 6. She has a daughter (24F) and two younger kids from a previous relationship. I have a son (22M) from a previous relationship.
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • I am not big on weddings. I consider them a waste of money. Mt wife and I got married at the courthouse. My son is getting married this summer. He decided he wanted a wedding. I had saved
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • a substantial amount of money for him over the years for college or whatever he wanted to do after high school. He didn't need that money because he got a scholarship. I am splitting the cost of the wedding with his
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • Cheezburger Image 10479345920
    via George Chambers

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • fiancees' parents. My half is coming from the money I saved. My stepdaughter recently got engaged. Her fiancé's family is "traditional" and expects her family to pay for all of it. My wife
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • asked me how much we are willing to spend (note: my wife and I maintain separate finances). I told her outside the $2,000 or so I plan to spend on wedding gifts, I do not plan to contribute
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • anything. She essentially said she cannot afford the cost of the wedding on her own, especially considering she is solely responsible for paying for the young kids' college and she has
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • to save for that (my wife's ex refuses to contribute anything whatsoever beyond child support until they are 18 years old). I told her they can get married at the courthouse like we did for less
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • than $100. She said I could you use some of the money in my savings that I had set aside for my son. While that is technically my money, as far as I am concerned, it is my son's money.
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • My wife is upset because she sees it as fundamentally unfair that my son is getting a nice wedding and her daughter is not. While I understand the frustration, I do not think that it is my place to remedy the problem. AITA?
    via Few-Awareness-8732
  • Ok_Homework_7 NTA Your wife had 24 years to think about this.
    via Ok_Homework_7
  • Material_Cellist41 NTA But I think the argument the wife should be having with her daughter is that she should be picking a better life partner. The wedding is for both the daughter and her fiance so both should contribute to the wedding.
    via Material_Cellist41
  • No_Glove_1575 NTA. Your stepdaughter was an ADULT when you married her mom and you did not really raise her. She has 2 living bio parents to fund her wedding. Sounds like she agrees to separate finances only when it's convenient for her.
    via No_Glove_1575
  • claire-echo NTA. Your money, your choice. You didn't randomly decide to fund one wedding and not the other you saved that money specifically for your son years ago. It's not like you're out here throwing lavish weddings left and right.
    via claire-echo
  • Your wife's frustration is understandable, but expecting you to just reallocate funds meant for your son is kinda wild. If fairness is the issue, maybe her daughter's fiancé's traditional family should traditionally cough up the cash they expect?
    via claire-echo
  • At the end of the day, weddings are a want, not a need. Love isn't measured by how many dollars get burned in a single day if it were, Vegas chapels wouldn't exist.
    via claire-echo
  • SpecialProfile2697 Your wife should have been thinking about this a long time ago. Lack of planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on your part. If she knew you were setting aside savings for your son, she easily could have followed suit. NTA
    via SpecialProfile2697

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family drama dads favorites famiies drama kids brother siblings bankroll moms favoritism parenting wedding dad story family sibling sister stories parent mom cousins parents
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